Shallow Dance

by Matty Sullivan

When you're done looking around the website, please visit my Patreon page to learn how you can lend a little support to my work. It's easy and it's inexpensive. In fact, you can help keep the motor running for no more than a few measly bucks--kinda like buying me a drink at the bar. Which, by the way, is my favorite way of saying thanks.

But if you never seem to catch me at the bar, you can do this instead.

Check it out.

In the meantime, enjoy yourself. And drop me a line when you get a chance.

I wish I would.

I wish I had a sledgehammer. I would smash this table into splinters.

I wish I had a shotgun. I would blast this TV into smithereens.

I wish I had a pair of wings. I would fly above the mountain, right through the clouds and out over the ocean, far away from the shore, until all I could see were blue horizons.

I wish I had the guts to just die already. I would spit in everybody’s face and say, "See you on the other side, suckers." Then I'd die.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I wouldn't do a thing about it, but at least I wouldn’t have to wonder anymore.

I wish I was a dog.

I wish I was a hungry dog.

I wish I was Arnold Schwarzenegger. I wish I was Scarlett Johansson.

I wish I was Stanley Kubrick.

I wish I was twenty years younger. I would spend the next twenty years doing all the things I wish I had done in the last twenty years. People would love me.

I wish I had more friends.

I wish I didn’t have any friends at all.

I wish I didn’t want any friends. I would go for days without talking to anyone.

I wish I was drunk.

I wish I was two inches shorter.

I wish I knew what I should be doing. I wish I was a lizard.

I wish I was Jerry Seinfeld.

I wish I was Peyton Manning.

I wish I was in northern California, behind the wheel of a Winnebago, driving up the Pacific Coast Highway.

I wish I was kinder. I wish I wasn't afraid of being kinder to people.

I wish I had the guts to just live, already.

I wish I was in prison. I would eat when they told me to eat, sleep when they told me to sleep. I would never leave my cell.

I wish I was gay. I wish I was black. I wish I was the future of something.

I wish I took better care of myself. I wish I was in high school.

I wish my nose was smaller.

I wish I was Johnny Depp.

I wish I had a teenage son. I would teach him how to change spark plugs and mow the yard. I would teach him how to masturbate properly.

I wish I hadn’t written that.